Far More
by Lauren Eliza
Summary: Brooke's thoughts during episode 3.17. BL, BP. One-shot. Please no character bashing in reviews! Thank you.


Far More: A One Tree Hill Fan Fic

_Is this the sound of our demise?_

_Or just the opposite?_

_I love you_

_And I miss you_

_What else is there to say?_

_It takes a hell of a lot more_

_To complete this_

Brooke wasn't there. That's what Lucas had said to her. He told her that she wasn't there. But she was. She was there as tearful parents came to collect their weeping children, inwardly thankful that they weren't the ones trapped inside. She was there as Karen watched Keith run into the school where someone was carrying a gun. She was there when Lucas emerged with Peyton bleeding in his arms. And she was there when the shots rang out. But she wasn't with Lucas now, because he had been there. And in his mind, she hadn't.

Maybe the party had been a bad idea. Maybe she shouldn't have pressured him into going with her. The point of it was to let people heal in their own ways, but maybe she should have been able to sense that he needed to heal alone, and that the school couldn't be the location for it yet. But she needed to heal too, despite what he had said to her about not being there.

So here she was, waiting for him in his bed.

"Hey Pretty Girl," Lucas said as he entered the room. With those three words, Brooke knew that it was going to be alright between them

They lay together on his bed and talked softly. He promised to save her, and Brooke had wanted to hear that from him for so long. But despite the sweetness of his words, and the sincerity she could feel when he told her that he loved her, she couldn't forget who it was that he had saved that day.

Peyton.

Her best friend, her sister. Brooke had been avoiding her out of a misplaced sense of guilt that she had left her behind in the school. She was so glad that Peyton was safe, but was she wrong to be upset that her safety was thanks to Lucas? Lucas, who had carried her out of the school, but hadn't been there to hold Brooke as she waited outside. Now Brooke felt like it was one more thing that Peyton and Lucas could share, one more thing that she was shut out of. And she knew she had to talk to Peyton about it.

Peyton was on her front porch when Brooke arrived. She acted casual, but Brooke interrupted her and explained how guilty she felt for leaving her behind. When Peyton tried to protest, Brooke cut her off again.

"There was something else that made you feel better in that library," she said. "My boyfriend."

Peyton looked down as Brooke continued.

"I care about Lucas, and I always will. But he's insanely in love with you, and so am I. You're my Brooke, and I'm not going to hurt you again," Peyton said sincerely.

There was only a second, maybe even less before Brooke replied, but in that moment a whole collage of images passed through her brain.

Her and Peyton as children, sitting under the bridge when Peyton's mother died.

The first time she ever noticed Lucas Scott.

The time she dared Peyton to kiss Lucas in front of everyone at Nathan's party.

The first time she ever kissed Lucas Scott.

The time she realized that Peyton and Lucas were sneaking around behind her back.

The time Lucas kissed her right before she left for the summer.

The time he forgave her for sleeping with Chris Keller.

The time she watched him run into the school where Peyton was.

And even with all of those images in her mind, Brooke knew that Peyton wouldn't intentionally hurt her again. And neither would Lucas. They cared about each other. They shared some things that Brooke would never understand. But she and Peyton shared some things Lucas would never understand, and she and Lucas shared others that Peyton would never understand.

"Okay, because I really don't want to hurt again," Brooke said.

And she didn't want them to hurt again either. Any of them. The three of them had experienced too much in their short lives and it was about time that they enjoyed some peace. There was far more to life than the heartache they had lived through so far, and they were going to be alright. P. Sawyer. B. Davis. Pretty Girl. Broody. Cheery. They were going to be alright.

_Well you can't dictate the way_

_The way I'm gonna feel  
No matter what_

_No matter what I'm forced to see  
I'll be the one free of jealousy_


End file.
